Boozes Korean in Japan

Who that flooring it on the way to Peckham?

It's the 400 year old neck of Victoria Beckham

A merry 2`sday to you all fellow living human types!

The past week got off to a flying start with one of my more talented students walking up to me after class and going "Sherdur." "Sher-DUR! After I recorded this and made it my ringtone we were able to figure out she was saying "Sheldon," particularly in that I looked like him. The character from BIG Bang Theory that is.

Not the wealthiest man in Nevada (apparently), the second guy

We then had ourselves a chinwag about a whole load of American programmes she's been watching on one of the cable channels that mysteriously got cut off from me after I closed the door in the face of the TV licence guy.

The main news of my week was however the arrival of C-dog. Too street for ya? Try C-money then. Bit more 90's. No?

It's Colin then. Colin's here. You joyless sons-a-b..

<dead air>

Yeah Colin came over from the good Korea (depending on which one you ask) for 2 weeks of being bowed at, stared at and generally verbed at. We met in Osaka airport on Saturday despite me judiciously standing at the wrong end of the terminal for an hour before I realised. Then he gave me the greatest gift a man can give another man in a public place without airport security getting antsy.

That's right, duty free Korean booze.

We then had a quick potter about Osaka before hitting the town. Japanese delicacies of the evening included cabbage pancake and the fresh genius that is an all-you-can-drink bar. An hour and a half of such boozy musings and we started wandering from bar to bar, into any old cack-lodge that took our eye. Lowlights of which were chatting with a gimpy perv of a barman in one Irish bar,

Gimpo-"Ohhooo, I bet you were looking at their legs there weren't ya!? Oh yyee're dirty feckers I can see it!"

Us- "Umm, any danger of you, getting our drinks and leaving those girls to ming in peace?"

On the plus side, sensing our distain he wormlike, felt the need to buy our love with some anti-IMF solidarity freebie drinks. Nice-u!

This probably led to my highpoint of the night where I asked how long a lady had been pregnant in a bar. In fact, looking at her roundbottomed flask of a belly I literally said "How long has there been a baby inside you?"

Her answer... "never"

Colin managed to pick up some rather persistent  attention from some lass who drew him multiple maps so he wouldn't get lost trying to find her the next night.

She was to be found at the brilliantly named "Clazy Market," not that we went there in the end. But I'm sure some lucky chap did. <sleazy smirk>

There was also a conversation with a Filipino guitarist we saw which we remember as being about musicians and how vital it is communicate across the false bonds of nationhood, a dream for the future, through the magic of 12 simple notes.

That said, it is as likely that it was like...

"Oh yeah man, we .. am.. guitar" (Hammett= Filipino by the way<reaches>)

We flogged around in a fairly chilled out fashion in Nara and Kyoto both and also hit a Brazilian meat restauraunt on the Sunday. And it hit us with a stomach stretching poundage of garlic steak and slow roasted everything. I've tasted the future guys, and it's roasted pineapple covered in cinnamon.

I've also seen the future but it mainly involves everybody in Europe pleasuring Asian businessmen for handfuls of corn meal. I for one welcome our rice-crazed overlords and remind them that my soft hands and well moisturised forehead mean I am a premier candidate for any positions they might have teaching their children, folding their ridiculous t-shirts or ratting out my countrymen to Beijing G-men.

In other news, Colin brings worrying news from over the water. They're a little less keen on us round-eyes over there and specifically there are a few Korean ultra-nationalist types who write articles in the paper going on about how we're paedos only sneaking in to try and satisfy our paedoy desires.

Indeed there is this chap who stalks foreigners in Seoul just to see what they get up to. He denies that it's stalking calling it "following." Clever Trevor. Some smart tack has even printed up t-shirts with the picture of the guy saying:

"Please tell me if this guy is behind me." 

Stonking. C-doodle arrives down to me on Thursday and is staying for a few days before heading back over to Kim Jong Newpants and the rest of that shower.

Boozes Korean in Japan